North Korea, Best Korea!
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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