ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
