you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
