it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
