I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
