A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
