SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like a drive thru vagina
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
