what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
