we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
