actually, I'm a sock model
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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