Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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