I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
