My first STD was from a foam party
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'd cum for enchiladas.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
