so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
