Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
