Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
