but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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