3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
