my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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