It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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