i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
