I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
