If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
