Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
