If that was your dad, he is hot
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
