I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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