Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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