You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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