I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
home. puking in laundry basket.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Less talking, more tequila
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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