Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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