I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
