I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
