Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
