I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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