i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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