I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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