I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
