WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
