just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
