He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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