that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
