went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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