Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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