Can Purell be used as lube?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
