thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
