In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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