I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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