I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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