Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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