Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
