Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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